Choices

Choices

All my life, my dad gave me choices. He would always give me an option, unless it was a command to not do something; in those times, he punished me. I got punished a lot. But let’s not get into that; today is about choices.
It started when I was a kid. One of my dad’s favorite stories about me was when I was about 9 years old. My parents were dropping me and Mike off at my grandparents, probably so they could enjoy a night out together. He gave me some options. He said, “Should I spank you now, or spank you later?” Then he continued, saying, “Or, you could be good and I won’t have to spank you at all!” I responded with, “You might as well spank me now, because I know I’m going to be bad!”
Like I said, I was punished a lot.
Even as I grew older, things were always a choice. When I was about 12, my dad told me that they were going to need a new bass player for the Worship Team because our current bassist, Danny Rooks, wouldn’t be there anymore. That was when my passion for music really started. He brought out his VOX Panther bass guitar for me to learn the basics on. Then his friend, Monte, gave me a book to learn from. But the greatest gift I received, other than the love of music from my dad, was a Peavy Foundation from his best friend, Mike. I still have that bass by the way. I would go on to teach myself guitar and even have been in a few bands myself, following in my father’s footsteps.
My dad instilled in me the ability to make choices about important things. Where to go to college, when to withdraw when I got lazy, whether I should move out, then move back in, and most importantly, about moving out of state. Sometimes I regretted leaving, but ultimately I knew it was the best choice to make. I was living his dream. For much of my life I’d known my dad wanted to retire and build on his property in Colorado. Then I up and move there, almost on my own. I had family to live with temporarily, but in the five years I’ve lived there, I have learned to take care of myself. I’ve also learned how to rely on others when I’m struggling as well.
I remember him telling me how proud of me he was shortly after I moved. When he, my mom and brothers came out to Colorado that first Christmas, before they left, my dad hugged me and told me he was proud of me.
Many times over the past few years he has been there to answer when I called for advice. All he did was help me see my options and said he supported me with whatever decision I made, but that it was up to me to make. Although, I forgot to mention my stubbornness. He knew that I had probably already made up my mind but also knew that I was looking for support. That’s why he gave me options.
My options now? To shut down and never let go of him or to move on with my life and apply all he’s taught me. This is one option that I know which one he wants me to make without exception. To live my life, to love others and to follow my dreams, no matter how long they take me to fulfill them. I choose to live in such a way that both my Heavenly Father and my father who raised me to tell me that they are proud of me.